around the web - been a while edition

it's Friday, time to drink:
17 of the worst shots ever created
malt liquor commercials through the years

didn't know about most of these:
7 insane conspiracies that actually happened

my obsession with Garfield continues...
Garfield minus Garfield

dear god, kill me now:
hops shortage spiking beer prices

well if Johnny Rico is back...
trailer for Starship Troopers 3: Straight to DVD

i've died and gone to heaven:
"We are the World" sung by Japanese impersonators

interesting Flickr photo sets:
KitKats of the world
stick figures in peril

1960s credit sequence for Star Wars
swingin' Star Wars

the end of this high school football game is nothing short of amazing. team with the ball is down 41-17 with 3 minutes to go. can they come back?
ridiculous football finish

Where's Waldo + The Bourne Ultimatum =
The Waldo Ultimatum

is this a promo video for the park? is this competition the park's claim to fame? rightfully so i guess... look at how many people turned out!
belly flop competition

and finally, a personal story on how i found this link. i clicked on this link because the title was "Hero Humiliates Horny Man" only to be greeted by Mike Jacob's face - the local news anchor in Milwaukee. yes, this story is straight outta Oconomowoc; 10 minutes away from where i grew up.
sword-wielding man stops "rape"

-k

around the web - garfield edition

if you remember, a few weeks ago i was obsessed with Lasagna Cat. the folks at Fatal Farm put a great spin on some absurdly unfunny Garfield cartoons (which is the majority of them).

now, i used to actually be a fan of Garfield - i have like 20 of his collections. in fact, i still think some of the early Garfield strips are pretty good. but damn, Garfield hasn't aged well. i think nostalgia - mixed with just how absurd the Lasagna Cat takes on Garfield are - is why i find them so damn funny.

so it started with Lasagna Cat a few weeks ago...

and then just yesterday i found this picture on a forum that had nothing to do with Garfield (it was part of someone's signature)... and it both cracked me up and freaked me out at the same time (i mean, just look at Jon's face at the end there).

i just had to find where it was from.

so i googled "Garfield" and "real cat" (i think) and came across THE funniest thing from this week:

the "what if Garfield was a real cat" forum.

on this wonderful, WONDERFUL forum i found others like me that found making fun of Garfield to be, well, funny. it was on this forum i found:

- Realfield
- Arbuckle: Garfield through Jon's eyes
- The Garfield Randomizer (make your own Garfield strip!)

and much, much more (like the originals from the funny/freaky picture that started my search in the first place).

it was the first time in a while that i was actually brought to tears from laughing so much and so hard. that forum had my eyes watering and my sides splitting!

i have no idea if any of you will find this as funny as i do, but that's fine. nobody at work really found it as funny as i did, so you won't hurt my feelings.

now if you'll excuse me, i've got some Garfield strips to randomize. AHAHAHA!!! THAT DARN CAT!

-k

around the web - 2/19/08

stumbled upon this site when another site featured their Oscars cards today. i just love the company's motto - "when you care enough to hit send." reminds me of Despair, Inc. and their demotivational posters:
someecards.com

computer stuff:
actual customer service call ("i gotta have speakers")
man makes music with just Windows sounds

ninja stuff:
ninjas on rollerskates (high-speed ninja/car chase)
best ninja movie ever (it's got the Miami Vice theme and swearing - lots of swearing)

do you like Star Wars?
not as much as this guy does

and finally, hilarious school science projects. sometimes they're funny because of the name. sometimes they're funny because of the quality of the presentation. and sometimes they're funny because of the kid presenting them. i just wish i could read a few excerpts from some of these projects:
41 hilarious science fair experiments

-k

around the web - 2/11/08 to 2/14/08

first Indy 4 trailer. comes out May 22! i'm trying to keep my expectations low, but this trailer raised them just a little...
Indiana Jones and the Teaser Trailer

The Onion asks the tough question "do we really want another black president?"
given what's happened when Morgan Freeman and the Allstate guy were president

so that's how Hollywood works:
5 ways Hollywood tricks you into seeing bad movies

i love craigslist. on it you can find some winners and some losers. here, my friend, is a winner just trying to sell some cement blocks for $1:
"you want the blocks? come get the blocks"

they've got candles, we've got MANDLES:
now available in "duct tape" and "Micky Mantle"

THE funniest thing i've read all week. it's a rip on how artsy and pretentious movies like "Garden State" and "Juno" are (don't get me wrong, i like those types of movies, but i know the formula and know how to laugh at it):
fake screenplay from the creator of "Juno"

finally, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!
cupid's arrows (video)
cupid's arrows (comic)

-k

around the web - 2/5/08 to 2/8/08

since i didn't have time to post at work - and since there really wasn't that much funny - here's the best of last week, all wrapped up in one post.

Japan loves to bring over Hollywood stars and have them star in outrageous commercials. found a website devoted to cataloging all of them. make sure to check out the Kiefer Sutherland, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Tommy Lee Jones ones:
japander.com brings the funny

David Spade did something funny? and it's not 1996?
There Will be Oscars (parody of There Will be Blood)

stop doing drugs!
10 funniest anti-drug ads

Indy 4 is coming out in a few months. this guy is ready.
Indy theme performed on an organ

what's sad is i could only identify half the people on this list:
Muppets for President

and, in honor of the Grammys tonight (just one of the many award shows that i don't watch), here's the 7 most unbelievable / unforgivable Grammy snubs of all time. every single one is unbelievable EXCEPT for #3. Christopher Cross for the win!
greatest Grammy snubs

let's hope this week brings back the funny. maybe Valentine's Day will inspire some humorous videos or articles.

-k

around the web - 2/4/08

i missed the Super Bowl (didn't tune in because i figured the Patriots would win like they always do - boy am i mad i missed it now!) which means i missed the commercials. after some web surfing, i found a few lists that brought most of the best together. as a whole, they sucked. big time. however, there were still a few good ones. i liked the Bridgestone Tires commercials, Bud Light "Fire Breath," Tide "The Talking Stain," FedEx "Carrier Pigeons," and - i don't know why - the Tmobile "My Fave 5" with Charles Barkley and Dwayne Wade. oh, the Planters Peanuts one is kinda funny too:
a blog that has a bunch of the ads
FHM's 10 funniest ads (some repeats from first link)
the racist Super Bowl ad

Superman had a musical in 1966 that lasted for 4 measly months on Broadway. then ABC decided to film and air a reproduction of it in 1975. here is the story:
It's A Bird... It's A Plane... It's Superman
a scene from the musical
original soundtrack now available on Amazon!

i wrote last week that Cheeseburger in a Can was the greatest invention since Water Joe. i may have been too hasty in my claim, because we've got a new contender:
Bacon Salt - the salt that tastes like bacon

finally, something about video games. a list of 7 adver-games - advertisements thinly disguised as video games. let me just say that Cool Spot and Yo Noid! were the SHIT! Yo Noid! just because how ridiculous its premise was, but Cool Spot because it was actually a good game:
7 advertisement video games (thanks Jess)

-k

around the web - 2/1/08

follow-up to Cheeseburger in a Can:
man purchases and eats Cheeseburger in a Can (it's in a forum, so scroll up to see the first pictures)

my favorites are #11 and #10:
the 11 most pointless celebrity products

first Seinfeld-inspired scientific study i've heard of:
you dipped - and then you dipped again (thanks Jake)

a novel, albeit somewhat confusing idea (i'd be on board if there weren't so many different lines and symbols to learn):
Visuwords - the online graphical dictionary

and finally, perhaps my favorite link this week. i have an affinity for poorly produced rap songs by sports teams. here are 6 by NFL teams, with the Rams song being the most unbelievable:
there are worse songs than the Super Bowl Shuffle

have a good weekend all.
-k

around the web - 1/29/08

greatest invention since Water Joe:
cheeseburger in a can? YES PLEASE!

stuck at work with no time to exercise? want to constantly feel like you're on the teacups ride at Disneyland?
then you need the Hawaii Chair! (yes i'm ashamed this is named after the state i live in)

funniest thing from last week (that i forgot to link):
dos and don'ts with babies (funniest thing is his face when he's at the table playing chess and gossiping with his mom)

funny to me, maybe not to you:
David Lee Roth "Runnin' with the Devil" vocal track only

-k

around the web - 1/25/08

point /
counterpoint:
scientists create the world's blackest material /
Wesley Snipes is still the blackest thing on the planet

in honor of Rambo IV coming out today:
why John Rambo is the baddest of the bad asses

no better time waster than these websites:
10 pointless (but irresistible) websites

finally, true next-gen gaming is here:
tech demo for the new Star Wars game (featuring the marriage of 3 separate physics engines)

i knew the Wii was good for something:
head tracking for Desktop VR Displays using the Wiimote and Sensor Bar (in english: it makes your TV project in 3D)

have a good weekend all!

-k

around the web - 1/23/08

i know the Chuck Norris craze is pretty much over (you could probably cite the Mountain Dew commercial as being the nail in the coffin) but still, Walker Texas Ranger had some crazy-ass moments in it. here Chuck takes on nature:
note how he wins by STARING IT DOWN

perhaps a Russian knockoff of Hot Fuzz?
one bad-ass cop with the serious skillz

as if i weren't geeked up enough for the new Rambo:
see the charted progression of death in the series

a great actor is cut down in his prime and this is your reaction?
Best Buy is a sensitive corporation

some extremely talented people make homemade video games on their own time. this is the funniest homebrew game i've seen in a long time. let me have the developers set the stage for you:

The Great B-Ball Purge of 2041, a day so painful to some that it is referred to only as the "B-Ballnacht". Thousands upon thousands of the world's greatest ballers were massacred in a swath of violence and sports bigotry as the game was outlawed worldwide. The reason: the Chaos Dunk, a jam so powerful its mere existence threatens the balance of chaos and order. Among the few ballers and fans that survived the basketball genocide was Charles Barkley, the man capable of performing the "Verboten Jam"...

Flash forward 12 years to the post-cyberpocalyptic ruins of Neo New York, 2053. A Chaos Dunk rocks the island of Manhattan, killing 15 million. When the finger is put on the aging Charles Barkley, he must evade the capture of the B-Ball Removal Department, led by former friend and baller Michael Jordan, and disappear into the dangerous underground of the post-cyberpocalypse to clear his name and find out the mysterious truth behind the Chaos Dunk. Joined by allies along the way, including his son Hoopz, Barkley must face the dangers of a life he thought he gave up a long time ago and discover the secrets behind the terrorist organization B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S.

that's right. it's an role-playing game ala Final Fantasy where you play as Charles Barkley in a post-apocalyptic world. the name of the game?
Charles Barkley: Shut up and Jam: Gaiden

-k

around the web - 1/21/08

it's that time of year again. the Oscars? no. it's time to take notice of the worst that Hollywood has to offer:
the 2008 RAZZIES are upon us (thanks Matt)

actually wouldn't mind playing a few of these - you know, i am a game designer after all. it'd be research:
the world's most controversial board games

from Fatal Farm, the guys behind Lasagna Cat:
Infinite Solutions on youtube (fake how-to videos)

and because i can't get enough of Lasagna Cat (and missed posting one last time), here's two more to take us home:
11/01/2007
10/26/2007

-k

around the web - 1/17/08

this is exactly why i don't listen to most of what's considered "today's music" on the radio today:
Nickelback is really, really original (thanks Matt)

drunk on a lawn mower:
stick around for the end - it's great

god i love the Japanese:
Super Terrific Japanese Pizza Time!

remember the game Guess Who? well here's how you win in one move. it's horrible, but oh so funny. why did i never think of this move???
Guess Who('s Coming to Dinner)

-k

around the web - 1/15/08

an interview with Todd Holland:
director of perhaps the best adver-movie ever - The Wizard

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale - Uwe Boll's latest monstrosity of a movie - made a measly $3 million at the box office. it's budget? $70 million. what does this mean:
Uwe Boll is ejected from the big-budget ring - huzzah!

the 80s were a simpler time, with unassuming advertising. wait, what do you mean the ad is slightly racist? i'm a tall, gangly man. aren't all us white folk?
banned sony ad

and, because i fear it didn't get enough attention yesterday, i'm going to be posting a Lasagna Cat clip every "around the web" post until i run out. here is your Lasagna Cat for the day:
04/08/1998

-k

around the web - 1/14/08

the name of the show: Cinematic Titanic. the premise: watch a movie and tape yourself make funny comments while watching it. sounds familiar right? maybe like a little show called Mystery Science Theater 3000? well, Cinematic Titanic stars all the original players of MST3000. their first DVD is out. here is the trailer:
Cinematic Titanic: The Oozing Skull

i have to admit, the first few of these i watched i didn't really get it. but after a few, you start to laugh your ass off. a team of guys (Fatal Farm) decided to take "unfunny" Garfield cartoon strips and act them out. then after doing that they set what they just did to music. the unfunny brought to life is hilarious, and then the songs they choose and what they decide to do with them? priceless. some of the best are 05/22/1980 and 08/18/1978. here's the rest:
Lasagna Cat on youtube

i never knew ignorance and bigotry could be so god-damn funny! (oh, and i'm not anti-religion - far from it. i'm just anti-ignorance and anti-bigotry):
the 100 greatest quotes from fundamentalist Christian chatrooms

finally, with almost all the movie production houses moving over to blu-ray, it looks like the next-gen format war might be over. and Hitler ain't happy:
the downfall of HD-DVD

-k

around the web - 1/11/08

everybody loves game shows. i especially like #2 and #1:
the 6 most insane game shows from around the world

yet another great exclusive TV offer... wait, where do you put the reel? read the comments for extra laughs:
the amazing fishing rod pen

great political attack ad - and hey, he's from Wisconsin:
Paul R. Nelson won't spend your money on sex

-k

around the web - 1/10/08

ah, the hero's journey. Joseph Campbell would be so proud:
the trailer for "harry potter and the chronicles of the lord of the golden compass of the jedi"

i've heard of touched-up photos in magazines but... wow:
a little photoshop magic

the "whore of the year" awards are not what they sound like. they are given out to movie critics that wrote rave reviews about crappy movies, most likely for money (hence the "whore" thing). i love the last guy - every movie is "the most _____ movie/film of the year!" ah, to be a critic:
four stars for the whore of the year awards

-k

around the web - 1/9/08

DC Comics started this All-Star line of comics a couple of years ago that would bring in top writing talent to tell tales of the big superheroes (Batman and Superman) that weren't necessarily part of continuity. Batman got Frank Miller - writer of 300 and Sin City. i was actually thinking of picking up the series one day:
needless to say, i don't think i'm going to anymore
part 2 of the worst Batman story to ever be told

from the freaky to the just plain weird:
current genetic experiments most likely to destroy humanity

a fake children's book explaining the wonders of home servers. be sure to read the forward and then check out the author's bio on the back. impressive stuff:
mommy, where do servers come from?

-k

around the web - 1/8/08

normally i'm not one for top __ lists from the previous year, but this one by the BBC had a lot of factoids in it AND links to the individual stories the factoids are pulled from:
100 things we didn't know last year

cartoons today have NOTHING on the cartoons from my childhood - case in point:
the absolute worst (best?) episode of The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3

nothing like proclaiming to the world that you're an idiot:
signs with spelling mistakes

i actually saw the sign about ninjas up in Vancouver (though i don't remember if that's the guy - does that make me a bad person that i saw the sign and not the face? aw who cares):
homeless people i'd give money to

-k

around the web - 1/5/08

wasn't really any good finds yesterday, and that's what it'll usually mean when i don't post any links - either that or i'm too busy at work (or too lazy at home) to post anything.

i DID however find a gem today. it's a SNL TV Funhouse cartoon that is a parody of Dora the Explorer. and it's hilarious:
Maraka (and her cat friend, Mittens)

- k

around the web - 1/3/08

not that much funny or interesting today.

this one should keep you busy for a while, as it's a top 10 list with writing AND youtube videos! yay multimedia!
products you didn't know you can't live without

i love local news clips:
weather girl getting jiggy with it

i really hope this becomes a series of webisodes:
drunk history starring Michael Cera

- k